Is That What We Look Like? Part 2 Allison Edition

[This is more of a "personal life" post. I took this out of the original post to make them shorter,  It is part 2 of the post that will be posted later about sculpture class today]

   (continued)..... I never want to be behind Cody in art, I wanna be at the same level. I'd hate to be less skilled at something art related than him, because I don't want to be looked down on. For instance, you're great at art, and your partner isn't. They show you art and you just nod and say that's great because you don't expect much from them. It's nothing compared to what you could do. Don't crush their hopes and dreams, just say it's nice and move along. I don't want that. 
 
    I think that's why me and Cody have a hard time talking to each other about our work. I want to help him because I know if he just looked at it with different eyes he would see something if it was off. Just like when he helps me with my stuff. Wow I should take my own advice. I get frustrated some times, because we are together, I don't want the first words out of his mouth to be "fix this". Even though I do the same thing to him, we both want to hear good things from each other about our pieces. About how impressed or proud we are of this great creation. Yet we both want each other to succeed and we both think just a little push of help is okay, because our eyes are not perfect."seeing" with another set of eyes might make things more accurate.

    I see everything "wrong" with my face when I looked at the photographs, why are faces so weird. I see everything I thought was perfectly fine. I've had a lot of self-image issues in my past, and now I'm concerned again, I also stopped running because of school. I should get back into that. I've been freaking out lately, I had a breakdown about why I'm going to art school. If it was the right choice because I feel like once you're done with school what left is there to do? You're thrown into the world with nothing but a degree, some paints, and your poor knowledge of the "real world". I still don't understand taxes...I barely understand grammar. I feel so mediocre sometimes, I'm just another kid in art school. I'm not great at a specific type of art. I'm not known for anything. I'm just. Here. These are the questions that keep me up at night. I've been very stressed between stupid little things, family life, physical health, and my education choices. I thought being an illustrator might be cool. But painting or drawing might be cool as a BFA.

   This is why I haven't been writing on the blog. I don't feel pushed to do much. I'm dragging my feet to do things constantly. You might notice I only write long blog posts when I have to write papers.... Hint hint hint. I might be depressed again. I'm not sure why I feel the need to make a blog post about this. To keep you in the loop?


I need to do my homework now.

-Allison

Ps. I chose quotes as motivation for the blog posts recently. Each quote has something to do with what I'm having trouble with. Unless they aren't related at all, then that's Cody's quote choices.